Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate motherhood and all the amazing things that come with it, but for many people, it can also be a difficult holiday. Mothers with addicted children may find themselves feeling guilty, ashamed, depressed, or helpless because they feel like they are unable to protect or help their own child.
Other mothers may have children who are in treatment for their addiction, but they may be consumed with worry or feel incapable of providing the support their child needs to recover. A mother may even wonder how long her child’s sobriety will last or if she will have to suffer through the pain of watching them lose themselves again to addiction.
Likewise, children of addicted mothers may also have a complicated relationship with Mother’s Day. How do you celebrate your mom when you’re struggling to remember that she loves you more than her drugs? How do you choose a Mother’s Day card that accurately describes someone you feel like you hardly know anymore? What can you say to her when you know she won’t be fully present to hear you?
For families who find themselves in these situations this Mother’s Day, the focus may be less on celebrating and more on coping with the addiction or rebuilding relationships in recovery. At Nova Recovery Center, we have worked with countless addicted mothers as well as the addicted children of concerned mothers. We know the heartache this can cause but we’ve also seen the healing that comes with recovery.
Regardless of where you are this Mother’s Day, we are here for you and here are three encouraging things to remember.
Addiction is a disease.
If your child is suffering from addiction this Mother’s Day, it’s important to remember that addiction is a disease. You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it. Coming to terms with this is not easy, but with the right support, you can learn how to cope with your child’s addiction and heal on your own terms. Participating in family therapy during your child’s treatment program and joining a group like Nar-Anon may help you through this difficult process.
On the other hand, growing up with an addicted parent can also be extremely difficult and damaging but understanding that addiction is a disease can help you keep things in perspective. Your mother’s addiction is a chronic disease, so, unfortunately, there is no magic cure. It will require ongoing attention and treatment for the rest of her life. Treatment will look different throughout various stages of her recovery, but she will need your support. Throughout this process, self-care, individual therapy, and family therapy are all essential components of providing support but also taking care of yourself.
You’re not alone in your struggle.
As a mother who is suffering from addiction, it’s important to realize that you’re not a failure and you’re not alone. Many other women are struggling alongside you and are striving to be better for their children and for themselves. There is power in numbers and being a part of a supportive sober community that encourages, inspires, and lifts each other up can help you maintain your sobriety as you work to be the mother you’ve always wanted to be.
If you are a child with an addicted mother, know that there is always hope for recovery and there are others out there like you. You may find solace in joining a group like Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA), a 12-Step program for men and women. Maintaining involvement in your mom’s addiction treatment program is also a very important aspect of her recovery and can help her sustain her sobriety.
Recovery is a family process that takes time.
This Mother’s Day may not play out as it does in all the commercials and advertisements, but the important thing is that you’re in recovery together. Recovery and healing is a team effort. Together, with time, you and your loved ones can rebuild a better life that is full of meaningful relationships and new, happier memories.
Recovery may seem like it’s a lifetime away, especially on Mother’s Day, but there is always hope for healing. If you’re ready to start your addiction treatment, now is as good a time as any. Call (512) 605-2955 to speak with an admissions representative at Nova Recovery Center.